So true ... I have found that BDSM, if done well, is good and I like reading them ... I esp. found the meddling in a BDSM book particularly distasteful .... to my understanding D/s is about choosing for oneself and making informed decisions, not relying on friends who try to push their 'hot buttons' and bedroom likes on to h's ...
Believe me, this subject always gets me raring off ...
I still have not read anything else by Marie Force because the mom in the first book I read from her pissed me off so bad. Everytime I think I will try another book I remember that character, and I can't do it. Eventually maybe enough years will pass that I'll forget about it and read something else.
Is that that Maid for Love in the McCarthy series? I HATED that mom. Someone needed to b&%tch slap her for her attitude towards the heroine. She got her karma when it turned out the mom's son (H's bro) is one of them that started the rumor against the h. I just wish she got more karma.
I still have not read anything else by Marie Force because the mom in the first book I read from her pissed me off so bad. Everytime I think I will try another book I remember that character, and I can't do it. Eventually maybe enough years will pass that I'll forget about it and read something else.
Is that that Maid for Love in the McCarthy series? I HATED that mom. Someone needed to b&%tch slap her for her attitude towards the heroine. She got her karma when it turned out the mom's son (H's bro) is one of them that started the rumor against the h. I just wish she got more karma.
Yes! That book. I find it hilarious that you knew exactly what I was talking about. I wanted so badly for somebody to throw her off an island cliff.
Post by magicrose99 on Oct 18, 2017 7:53:34 GMT -7
That was the first book I read of hers. I've read others in the series, but I wish the h & H of the first book would have moved and lost touch with the people in that town.
Post by Banana Boat on Oct 18, 2017 8:02:28 GMT -7
I don't know why the press is acting so surprised about all of the fondling, rapes and so on in the Hollyweird set. It's been going on for years and years. 🎃
So true ... I always say .. one doesn't need enemies if one has bff's like that ... I esp. hate the nagging part ... and major ick factor about the bff and h having the same escort ...eeww!
I actually googled and read a blog experience a lady had shared ... an abuse victim who found happiness in D/s ... but the way she described her relationship ... she was abused as a teen and she met this man in her 20's ... according to her, they became friends, then lovers without D/s before she found out he was into the lifestyle ... so she talked with him and took baby steps with him ... it worked for her but she freely admits that the formula working for her does not mean it works for everyone else .... to her it was not about D/s but more that she could trust him and let go of her issues ...
I also tend to stay away from BDSM books - not because I have any issues with the subject but more because authors are using it as a plot device rather than an having an actual plot where BDSM is incorporated ... I actually didn't have any idea this book dealt with D/s ... I guess more fool me!
I would have been extra ragey and ranty if I'd read that one too. Two of my most disliked tropes. I hate the "everybody being part of the whole naggy, pushy crowd" thing (friends/relatives/workmates/mailman/whoever) pushing the heroine a particular way, whether it's into forgiving a cheater, or into sexual practices, or other life decisions. Give the woman some room, you live your life, let her live hers.
And I loathe, despise, detest the "bdsm as a cure-all" crap for whatever ails the heroine, be it trauma after a mugging/beating/attack/rape/abuse, pathological shyness, or a planter wart on the bottom of the foot! - and I find it incredibly skeevey and icky and creepy when it's presented that way. Jeez, it's NOT a paracetamol or a swipe of a magic ointment! I would think, realistically, if you spoke to a counsellor, psychologist (or, ya know, anyone who had even half a brain) they'd say shoving someone into that situation would probably cause more harm than good - especially at the speed things happen in these books (like the real life example above, it would take time & trust, a very looooooong time and huge level of trust). I seriously doubt you can "cure" someone who's verbally/violently/sexually had their power, control and confidence taken away by telling them they actually need to enjoy it and they will learn to enjoy it if it's just done by the "right person" in the "right way".
Grrrr. Yeah, sorry ranty time there but I hate that it appears so often in books, and so often it's traumatised/abused women being told they need to learn to enjoy bdsm and it will fix them.... but via being a sub, though when it's a man in that situation, he always ends up the dom. But that's a whole 'nother rant.
I don't know why the press is acting so surprised about all of the fondling, rapes and so on in the Hollyweird set. It's been going on for years and years. 🎃
Exactly, where did they think the whole "casting couch" history/rumours/innuendo stuff came from?
My rant for the day. I finished Wedding Date with the Army Doc. I liked it and the H and h were good together. But, I see this a lot in Harlequins and it drive me nuts: the heroine gets upset and pitches the equivalent of a toddler temper tantrum. Then it somehow gets turned around into being his fault she git bitchy and HE has to do the grovel scene and make everything better, even though he did nothing wrong. Just once I would love to see the H call her on her crap and tell her she's acting like a child. I always spend his whole grovel scene thinking WTH? What are you apologizing for?
Anyway, despite my little rant, it was a good book and I would read more from the author.
So true ... I always say .. one doesn't need enemies if one has bff's like that ... I esp. hate the nagging part ... and major ick factor about the bff and h having the same escort ...eeww!
I actually googled and read a blog experience a lady had shared ... an abuse victim who found happiness in D/s ... but the way she described her relationship ... she was abused as a teen and she met this man in her 20's ... according to her, they became friends, then lovers without D/s before she found out he was into the lifestyle ... so she talked with him and took baby steps with him ... it worked for her but she freely admits that the formula working for her does not mean it works for everyone else .... to her it was not about D/s but more that she could trust him and let go of her issues ...
I also tend to stay away from BDSM books - not because I have any issues with the subject but more because authors are using it as a plot device rather than an having an actual plot where BDSM is incorporated ... I actually didn't have any idea this book dealt with D/s ... I guess more fool me!
I would have been extra ragey and ranty if I'd read that one too. Two of my most disliked tropes. I hate the "everybody being part of the whole naggy, pushy crowd" thing (friends/relatives/workmates/mailman/whoever) pushing the heroine a particular way, whether it's into forgiving a cheater, or into sexual practices, or other life decisions. Give the woman some room, you live your life, let her live hers.
And I loathe, despise, detest the "bdsm as a cure-all" crap for whatever ails the heroine, be it trauma after a mugging/beating/attack/rape/abuse, pathological shyness, or a planter wart on the bottom of the foot! - and I find it incredibly skeevey and icky and creepy when it's presented that way. Jeez, it's NOT a paracetamol or a swipe of a magic ointment! I would think, realistically, if you spoke to a counsellor, psychologist (or, ya know, anyone who had even half a brain) they'd say shoving someone into that situation would probably cause more harm than good - especially at the speed things happen in these books (like the real life example above, it would take time & trust, a very looooooong time and huge level of trust). I seriously doubt you can "cure" someone who's verbally/violently/sexually had their power, control and confidence taken away by telling them they actually need to enjoy it and they will learn to enjoy it if it's just done by the "right person" in the "right way".
Grrrr. Yeah, sorry ranty time there but I hate that it appears so often in books, and so often it's traumatised/abused women being told they need to learn to enjoy bdsm and it will fix them.... but via being a sub, though when it's a man in that situation, he always ends up the dom. But that's a whole 'nother rant.
Just once I would like the h to say "Wait just one freaking minute!! Who the hell are all of you and why are you so involved in my sex life!!!" For crying out loud! I don't want my grandma's neighbor's sister's niece confronting me in the grocery store giving me advice on whether or not I should let the H tie me up and spank me!!
Sorry, this plays into my feelings of why doesn't the H get spanked and reprimanded like a child when he acts like a dumbass? Why aren't any of these overly involved people suggesting that?
Sorry again, this is also hitting my "the sub is in charge" rant. I have never actually read a D/s book where the h says the safe word to get the H to stop something because they are all so damn eager to please they would never consider it so he can "convince her" to do whatever he wants and knows it. Yup, she is in charge. Urg. OK, I will stop now! I am ranting to avoid working which is another rant altogether!
Just once I would like the h to say "Wait just one freaking minute!! Who the hell are all of you and why are you so involved in my sex life!!!" For crying out loud! I don't want my grandma's neighbor's sister's niece confronting me in the grocery store giving me advice on whether or not I should let the H tie me up and spank me!!
Sorry, this plays into my feelings of why doesn't the H get spanked and reprimanded like a child when he acts like a dumbass? Why aren't any of these overly involved people suggesting that?
Sorry again, this is also hitting my "the sub is in charge" rant. I have never actually read a D/s book where the h says the safe word to get the H to stop something because they are all so damn eager to please they would never consider it so he can "convince her" to do whatever he wants and knows it. Yup, she is in charge. Urg. OK, I will stop now! I am ranting to avoid working which is another rant altogether!
I have read several BDSM books in which the h used her safe word. I have also read some when I thought she should have used it long before the scene ended. I think a lot of that depends on the author and their actual research into or experience with the lifestyle. Those who are writing BDSM because it became popular and "everybody else is writing it" tend to show less respect for and understanding of it in their writing.
Just once I would like the h to say "Wait just one freaking minute!! Who the hell are all of you and why are you so involved in my sex life!!!" For crying out loud! I don't want my grandma's neighbor's sister's niece confronting me in the grocery store giving me advice on whether or not I should let the H tie me up and spank me!!
Sorry, this plays into my feelings of why doesn't the H get spanked and reprimanded like a child when he acts like a dumbass? Why aren't any of these overly involved people suggesting that?
Sorry again, this is also hitting my "the sub is in charge" rant. I have never actually read a D/s book where the h says the safe word to get the H to stop something because they are all so damn eager to please they would never consider it so he can "convince her" to do whatever he wants and knows it. Yup, she is in charge. Urg. OK, I will stop now! I am ranting to avoid working which is another rant altogether!
Totally and absolutely preaching to the choir, and on all three points! I have gone quite ranty about all three back on the ammy boards. LOL.... The whole spankybusiness thingy not that long before ammy killed our board.
Just once I would like the h to say "Wait just one freaking minute!! Who the hell are all of you and why are you so involved in my sex life!!!" For crying out loud! I don't want my grandma's neighbor's sister's niece confronting me in the grocery store giving me advice on whether or not I should let the H tie me up and spank me!!
Sorry, this plays into my feelings of why doesn't the H get spanked and reprimanded like a child when he acts like a dumbass? Why aren't any of these overly involved people suggesting that?
Sorry again, this is also hitting my "the sub is in charge" rant. I have never actually read a D/s book where the h says the safe word to get the H to stop something because they are all so damn eager to please they would never consider it so he can "convince her" to do whatever he wants and knows it. Yup, she is in charge. Urg. OK, I will stop now! I am ranting to avoid working which is another rant altogether!
Totally and absolutely preaching to the choir, and on all three points! I have gone quite ranty about all three back on the ammy boards. LOL.... The whole spankybusiness thingy not that long before ammy killed our board.
My sentiments exactly! And that brings me to another pet peeve; why is it that whatever the H does, h automatically likes? Be it anal, oral, tie up, crawl on the floor, spanking or even standing on her head ... no matter what, he does it and she loves it ... no matter that she is experiencing it the first time; she loves it ....
And why do all authors and I really mean all of them describe h's reaction to anal as 'dark pleasure'? What exactly is dark pleasure? Can't they find any other terms? I think one author used this term and others followed ...
So true ... I always say .. one doesn't need enemies if one has bff's like that ... I esp. hate the nagging part ... and major ick factor about the bff and h having the same escort ...eeww!
I actually googled and read a blog experience a lady had shared ... an abuse victim who found happiness in D/s ... but the way she described her relationship ... she was abused as a teen and she met this man in her 20's ... according to her, they became friends, then lovers without D/s before she found out he was into the lifestyle ... so she talked with him and took baby steps with him ... it worked for her but she freely admits that the formula working for her does not mean it works for everyone else .... to her it was not about D/s but more that she could trust him and let go of her issues ...
I also tend to stay away from BDSM books - not because I have any issues with the subject but more because authors are using it as a plot device rather than an having an actual plot where BDSM is incorporated ... I actually didn't have any idea this book dealt with D/s ... I guess more fool me!
I would have been extra ragey and ranty if I'd read that one too. Two of my most disliked tropes. I hate the "everybody being part of the whole naggy, pushy crowd" thing (friends/relatives/workmates/mailman/whoever) pushing the heroine a particular way, whether it's into forgiving a cheater, or into sexual practices, or other life decisions. Give the woman some room, you live your life, let her live hers.
And I loathe, despise, detest the "bdsm as a cure-all" crap for whatever ails the heroine, be it trauma after a mugging/beating/attack/rape/abuse, pathological shyness, or a planter wart on the bottom of the foot! - and I find it incredibly skeevey and icky and creepy when it's presented that way. Jeez, it's NOT a paracetamol or a swipe of a magic ointment! I would think, realistically, if you spoke to a counsellor, psychologist (or, ya know, anyone who had even half a brain) they'd say shoving someone into that situation would probably cause more harm than good - especially at the speed things happen in these books (like the real life example above, it would take time & trust, a very looooooong time and huge level of trust). I seriously doubt you can "cure" someone who's verbally/violently/sexually had their power, control and confidence taken away by telling them they actually need to enjoy it and they will learn to enjoy it if it's just done by the "right person" in the "right way".
Grrrr. Yeah, sorry ranty time there but I hate that it appears so often in books, and so often it's traumatised/abused women being told they need to learn to enjoy bdsm and it will fix them.... but via being a sub, though when it's a man in that situation, he always ends up the dom. But that's a whole 'nother rant.
Well said and I completely agree with everything you wrote. Love it!
zubee - I think I read the same blog many months ago and if not the same the experience was very similar. It was good and helped me to understand the thinking of someone who enjoys the BDSM lifestyle.
You are definitely no fool. BDSM seems to be a pervasive theme running rampant through the romance genre currently. I look through the shelves in GR sometimes just to make sure it isn't a BDSM book. Of course that doesn't work all of the time because if the hero spanks or ties up the h, someone is going to label it BDSM. I personally don't mind bondage and don't care about spanking. I just don't like the restrictive nature of pleasure only being found when X,Y,Z happens. Add to that titles I feel demeaning and the enjoyment of hurting the one you love to "get off" and it quickly became a theme I want to avoid.
For those who enjoy BDSM in real life or in books, please don't take what I wrote as a judgment against you. I totally don't mean it that way. It's is my own little peccadilloes that keep me from enjoying it. If no one is hurt and everyone consents I say love who you love in whichever way you want to show that love (or lust).